I wonder if there is a defining moment in life, where you realize that the person you used to be has changed into someone you always wanted to become...I've always wanted to be successful in my career, my marriage, and in mommy-hood. As I look back on the last 5 years of my life I can see this transformation, from a girl that "just wants to have fun" to a women with responsibilities and bigger dreams than ever before. I've climbed from the very bottom of the food chain in my career to a position that carry's a little more leverage and respect, a good Friday no longer consists of nightclubs and bars, but of dinners, board games, movies and a clean house, o how I love the feeling of a clean house...even though it never lasts! Initially, I wanted to be successful and make a ton of money, a few years later I wanted to have a fairy tale wedding and marry my prince charming. I always knew I wanted to have a family, in fact, that is the exact reason I never pursued law school at 22, I didn't want a nanny to raise my kids, whenever that day eventually came. And now, at 27, I've had my fairy tale wedding, I'm married to my prince charming, and I want more than anything to have a little baby Franco, with big eyes and long eyelashes (like Daddy) Boy or Girl, I'll take what God chooses to bless us with, but please God please let this work!
I've never understood why some people react to our desire to be pregnant with negativity and say "you're so young" "you haven't been married that long" "you should wait" "I didn't have a baby until I was 30"...what is it we are waiting for exactly and why do I need to be 30 something before some people view it as an okay decision. We don't need time to party (been there, done that), I'm established in my career, we have traveled the world and actually want to adjust our life for a "party of 3"...we are ready. I really don't care what anyone else think, as my hubby and I like to say "it's us against the world". But I am SOOOO over hearing others opinion of "you have time". I know not everyone views being a parent in the same light as I do, but give it a break and just be happy for us.
The tricky part about changing is I'm not the only one that has changed, and sometime its so hard to watch relationships evolve into something that I never imagined it could be. Growing up and growing apart are never easy. The IF (short for infertility) process really shows you who your supporters are. I'm not sure if people just don't know how to react and they therefore ignore it all together, but the lack of support from some people truly is amazing...from the very beginning I felt like I had to justify why we are seeing a specialist to some people. We heard everything from we are trying to hard to we aren't trying hard enough. And I love the "you're just stressing about it, stop stressing and you'll be pregnant" explanation. I knew there was something wrong and when we received the doctors diagnosis, it was almost a relief to show that I wasn't crazy...and then, we were given a solution to our problem, IVF.
So, is this the part where I realize some friendships have officially grown apart? I don't know...but in all honesty it hurts when friends don't ask any questions about where we are at in this process. I feel like this is the time in my life that I need friends more than anything, and it surprises me to see who stepped up and who has brushed the entire thing under a rug. I will be forever grateful to the ladies in my life who have listened, they could not always relate, but they definitely listened and loved me though it all.
I love the person I'm becoming and have big plans for the Mom I want to be...I know I'll make it though this journey with the support of my wonderful hubby, family, and those friends that truly care. I just need to weed out all the negativity that people bring to our journey and always look for the silver lining.
And tonight's silver lining is my hubby...because through this process he has learned exactly when he needs to hold me and remind me that I'm his best friend and that he cares, that he reads my blog, that he's researched the issues, and that he loves me~
I've never understood why some people react to our desire to be pregnant with negativity and say "you're so young" "you haven't been married that long" "you should wait" "I didn't have a baby until I was 30"...what is it we are waiting for exactly and why do I need to be 30 something before some people view it as an okay decision. We don't need time to party (been there, done that), I'm established in my career, we have traveled the world and actually want to adjust our life for a "party of 3"...we are ready. I really don't care what anyone else think, as my hubby and I like to say "it's us against the world". But I am SOOOO over hearing others opinion of "you have time". I know not everyone views being a parent in the same light as I do, but give it a break and just be happy for us.
The tricky part about changing is I'm not the only one that has changed, and sometime its so hard to watch relationships evolve into something that I never imagined it could be. Growing up and growing apart are never easy. The IF (short for infertility) process really shows you who your supporters are. I'm not sure if people just don't know how to react and they therefore ignore it all together, but the lack of support from some people truly is amazing...from the very beginning I felt like I had to justify why we are seeing a specialist to some people. We heard everything from we are trying to hard to we aren't trying hard enough. And I love the "you're just stressing about it, stop stressing and you'll be pregnant" explanation. I knew there was something wrong and when we received the doctors diagnosis, it was almost a relief to show that I wasn't crazy...and then, we were given a solution to our problem, IVF.
So, is this the part where I realize some friendships have officially grown apart? I don't know...but in all honesty it hurts when friends don't ask any questions about where we are at in this process. I feel like this is the time in my life that I need friends more than anything, and it surprises me to see who stepped up and who has brushed the entire thing under a rug. I will be forever grateful to the ladies in my life who have listened, they could not always relate, but they definitely listened and loved me though it all.
I love the person I'm becoming and have big plans for the Mom I want to be...I know I'll make it though this journey with the support of my wonderful hubby, family, and those friends that truly care. I just need to weed out all the negativity that people bring to our journey and always look for the silver lining.
And tonight's silver lining is my hubby...because through this process he has learned exactly when he needs to hold me and remind me that I'm his best friend and that he cares, that he reads my blog, that he's researched the issues, and that he loves me~
Sophia..you have it all! You are simply amazing and I cannot wait until the day you become a Mommy..and I become an Aunt!! You and Tyson will be wonderful parents..as you are already make a wonderful married couple! I look up to both of you and believe that everything happens for a reason. You know that you have all my love and support...I would not miss this for anything! xoxo
ReplyDeleteAww, Aunt Jen (I'm just getting you prepared)...what would I do without you?! I would be lost if you were still in New Jersey. I'm so glad you came back to where you belong! Thank you for always lifting me up when I am feeling down and reminding me of all the positive beautiful things in life. After all, who can be blue when "it's a beautiful day to be alive".
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