10 Weeks

So today is the big reveal day! I figure if my little baby is starting to grow fingernails and hair follicles at just 2 inches, I can show off my belly (bloat). It's amazing that I've only gained 3 pounds but NONE of my regular pants fit anymore. My wardrobe has slowly been shrinking the past few weeks, and last weekend I finally made the plunge into the maternity world...and it was a great decision. There is a lot of hideous uncomfortable maternity clothing out their, but if you look hard enough, you can find some very good pieces...mainly from Gap Maternity and Old Navy Maternity. So I'm back in the world of comfort...and only 2 more weeks until my second trimester.  YaY I hear the 2nd trimester is the best, but I really can't complain, I haven't suffered from terrible morning sickness, just pure exhaustion. Bed is my favorite place to be right now, in fact I'm typing this from bed :0) Sometimes the lack of morning sickness makes me feel like I might be making all this up, but then I get to hear the heartbeat and see my baby I am relieved. The most recent ultrasound we got to see the baby dancing, I wish we had brought the video because it was the cutest thing ever...but here is a picture at 9 weeks 4 days...





<3 Our Love Bug <3

8 weeks 4 days

Time is really going fast, I can't believe I'm already 8 weeks 4 days, and I haven't written on here in over a week. Life has been busy and I've been trying to study as much as possible. My CPA exam is in 2 weeks and I'm so nervous about it. Studying while pregnant after using my brain all day long is not as easy as I expected...I'm exhausted! Maybe it's the lack of motivation I'm suddenly feeling, almost like a question keeps ringing in my ears...is this what you want to do with the rest of your life? Be stuck in an office working for a company who could really care less about my happiness?

Work has not been kind to me...things have been changing ever since they learned we were going through fertility treatments to get pregnant. I thought honesty was the best policy so I told them up front. I knew we would have a lot of doctors appointments and I thought it would be best if they knew... boy was I wrong. I went from being a valued employee to being questioned and treated differently. I'm serious about this....and it is horrible. I wish I could change it.... I would have kept our precious little secret to ourselves as long as possible. I always think people in the corporate world care, and every time I get burned. I guess not everyone can be excited for our little miracle but the negativity is taking a toll. And all the crazy hormones going through my body are making it 10 times worse. Finding a new job in this economy is difficult enough, but finding a new job pregnant... is daunting. Questioning my entire career choice is even worse!

I have worked my way from the bottom up (believe me, scanning and coping out of college for the same money as working at a dry cleaners was not what I thought a college degree would get me). I am along way from those days, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm missing the "do something with my life"...so now I'm questioning it all...ugh.

I wish the answer would fall out of the sky, is money worth the misery? It feels like it when you know you have a baby on the way. I want to be able to provide everything and anything his/her little heart desires but even more than giving material things in this world, I want to be the one that is there to raise our miracle...not hear about it from the nanny.

So now I must think of a solution to my career dilemma... find the perfect work from home job so I can be there for our baby and contribute to the bank. There is always bookkeeping...or even better...writing. Maybe I should have majored in journalism. *sigh* It is what it is, and I will just have to keep trusting that God will provide. I'm going to learn something from this experience...maybe it's that not everyone will like me or appreciate all the hard work that I do. Not everyone cares...and I should be okay with that.

I refuse to let anyone take away the joy that our new baby is bringing to our lives. And tomorrow we get to see him/her in another ultrasound. Yay! So excited :0)

PS: To all my worried family members, please don't worry...I'm still getting my CPA...I haven't worked this hard for it...I will have initials on the end of my name before our baby is born :0)

Ultrasound #2

We went in for our 2nd ultrasound at 6 weeks 6 days and it was even more amazing then the 1st! My darling hubby met me at the doctors office right on time, with video camera in hand. You can never have too much documentation of a good thing, he is making sure this is all on camera and video, while I'm putting it all in writing...we make a good team. When it's time to do the ultrasound I couldn't actually see the screen. It made me so nervous not knowing what was going on, it felt like forever but in reality it was only a minute. I think she just wants to check on the baby before she lets me see him/her, but I'm probably reading into the entire process too much.

She did the measurements of the yolk sack (still a good size) and measures the baby. I had no clue but they can actually get a measurement of the baby that will tell them how many days old the baby was...it's not always accurate and every baby grows different. For example, the first measurement she took had the baby measuring at 6 weeks 2 days, which kinda scared me because I was 6 weeks 6 days, and in the baby's world a lot can happen in a day. She took a second measurement at the end of our appointment, and the baby measured 6 weeks 6 days, perfectly on schedule. I guess the moral of that story is not to rely to heavily on these tests, everything can change from a different angle.

After the measurements we were able to hear the heartbeat. For such a tiny little baby, now the size of a raspberry (.5 inch), the heartbeat was so strong. It was beating at 129 beats a minute, which is very healthy. It was the most amazing sound and I cannot wait till he/she gets bigger so we can get a stethoscope and listen at home. This week all the joints are forming and the arms and leg buds are forming...I love learning the science behind this. It's funny, because I would think that all expectant mothers would want to know what stage their baby is in, but I was talking to a girl about pregnancy, explaining where we are at, and she said "wow, your really into this". It really surprised me and also made me think about all the unplanned and uncared for pregnancies in the world. The fact that some states allow abortions up to 20+ weeks...that makes me sad.

But our little raspberry is doing very good, and so am I. No puking yet, and I'm hoping and praying it won't start. I get nauseous, kind of like a hangover feeling when you want to puke but don't. It goes away if I eat something so I try to snack in between meals. I'm not complaining in the slightest...I absolutely love being pregnant!

Baby Franco

We had my first ultrasound at six weeks and we got to see our little baby Franco's heartbeat! It is absolutely amazing that at just 6 weeks and a quarter of an inch (now the size of a blueberry) our baby's heart is beating and this week will be full of brain growth. Such a miracle.

In the midsts of all our joy over the first heartbeat we saw, we were saddened to learn that we only have one...don't get me wrong, we are both so very thankful and feel totally blessed with our One...but we grew attached to both of our embryos over the last few weeks, so it was hard to hear that our second didn't make it. It broke my heart to see how sad my hubby's face was when the doctor said one, and I think the hardest part was telling everyone else that we are having one. Most people don't even tell others they are pregnant until the 12 week just to be safe, and now I understand. We have been very open and honest with our family and friends in this process, including our excitement for possible twins, so that made it harder for us... And to be completely honest, their was a moment that we (hubby and I) thought maybe embryo #2 could be hiding behind #1...but its just wishful thinking. We know God's plans are greater than our own...and we are so very thankful for our one precious little blueberry.

I wanted to share the best part of this process, the ultrasound...because I was only 6 weeks pregnant it was still too early to measure a heartbeat and hard to see the it too. The doctor had me hold my breath so I was completely still and then you can see the flicker. I keep watching and re-watching, I'm so amazed. Our next ultrasound is on Wednesday and we will be able to get a measurement of the heartbeat and even hear it...I'm so excited!

Sweet Pea or Sweet Peas?

The last few weeks I've been referring to our pregnancy as babies/baby. And tomorrow we will officially find out if we have 2 peas in a pod or one singleton. I'm excited for either outcome, and will feel doubly blessed if we have twins, but part of me will be sad, because I know we started with 2 embies and I feel attached to both of them...but this is all in God's plan so I will trust Him.

So far no morning sickness just exhaustion and when I'm hungry, I'm starved. There are those other side affects that aren't blog appropriate, haha. But I love every symptom because it makes it all feel real. Week 5 has been very important, the baby/ies heart is developing and tomorrow we might get to hear it...I just know I'm going to cry...

Can't wait for our special moment. YAYAYAYAYAY!