Time is really going fast, I can't believe I'm already 8 weeks 4 days, and I haven't written on here in over a week. Life has been busy and I've been trying to study as much as possible. My CPA exam is in 2 weeks and I'm so nervous about it. Studying while pregnant after using my brain all day long is not as easy as I expected...I'm exhausted! Maybe it's the lack of motivation I'm suddenly feeling, almost like a question keeps ringing in my ears...is this what you want to do with the rest of your life? Be stuck in an office working for a company who could really care less about my happiness?
Work has not been kind to me...things have been changing ever since they learned we were going through fertility treatments to get pregnant. I thought honesty was the best policy so I told them up front. I knew we would have a lot of doctors appointments and I thought it would be best if they knew... boy was I wrong. I went from being a valued employee to being questioned and treated differently. I'm serious about this....and it is horrible. I wish I could change it.... I would have kept our precious little secret to ourselves as long as possible. I always think people in the corporate world care, and every time I get burned. I guess not everyone can be excited for our little miracle but the negativity is taking a toll. And all the crazy hormones going through my body are making it 10 times worse. Finding a new job in this economy is difficult enough, but finding a new job pregnant... is daunting. Questioning my entire career choice is even worse!
I have worked my way from the bottom up (believe me, scanning and coping out of college for the same money as working at a dry cleaners was not what I thought a college degree would get me). I am along way from those days, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm missing the "do something with my life"...so now I'm questioning it all...ugh.
I wish the answer would fall out of the sky, is money worth the misery? It feels like it when you know you have a baby on the way. I want to be able to provide everything and anything his/her little heart desires but even more than giving material things in this world, I want to be the one that is there to raise our miracle...not hear about it from the nanny.
So now I must think of a solution to my career dilemma... find the perfect work from home job so I can be there for our baby and contribute to the bank. There is always bookkeeping...or even better...writing. Maybe I should have majored in journalism. *sigh* It is what it is, and I will just have to keep trusting that God will provide. I'm going to learn something from this experience...maybe it's that not everyone will like me or appreciate all the hard work that I do. Not everyone cares...and I should be okay with that.
I refuse to let anyone take away the joy that our new baby is bringing to our lives. And tomorrow we get to see him/her in another ultrasound. Yay! So excited :0)
PS: To all my worried family members, please don't worry...I'm still getting my CPA...I haven't worked this hard for it...I will have initials on the end of my name before our baby is born :0)
Work has not been kind to me...things have been changing ever since they learned we were going through fertility treatments to get pregnant. I thought honesty was the best policy so I told them up front. I knew we would have a lot of doctors appointments and I thought it would be best if they knew... boy was I wrong. I went from being a valued employee to being questioned and treated differently. I'm serious about this....and it is horrible. I wish I could change it.... I would have kept our precious little secret to ourselves as long as possible. I always think people in the corporate world care, and every time I get burned. I guess not everyone can be excited for our little miracle but the negativity is taking a toll. And all the crazy hormones going through my body are making it 10 times worse. Finding a new job in this economy is difficult enough, but finding a new job pregnant... is daunting. Questioning my entire career choice is even worse!
I have worked my way from the bottom up (believe me, scanning and coping out of college for the same money as working at a dry cleaners was not what I thought a college degree would get me). I am along way from those days, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm missing the "do something with my life"...so now I'm questioning it all...ugh.
I wish the answer would fall out of the sky, is money worth the misery? It feels like it when you know you have a baby on the way. I want to be able to provide everything and anything his/her little heart desires but even more than giving material things in this world, I want to be the one that is there to raise our miracle...not hear about it from the nanny.
So now I must think of a solution to my career dilemma... find the perfect work from home job so I can be there for our baby and contribute to the bank. There is always bookkeeping...or even better...writing. Maybe I should have majored in journalism. *sigh* It is what it is, and I will just have to keep trusting that God will provide. I'm going to learn something from this experience...maybe it's that not everyone will like me or appreciate all the hard work that I do. Not everyone cares...and I should be okay with that.
I refuse to let anyone take away the joy that our new baby is bringing to our lives. And tomorrow we get to see him/her in another ultrasound. Yay! So excited :0)
PS: To all my worried family members, please don't worry...I'm still getting my CPA...I haven't worked this hard for it...I will have initials on the end of my name before our baby is born :0)
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