Choices choices and more choices

I thought making choices as an adult was difficult, then making choices as a married couple came along and that was even harder...but nothing tops making choices as a parent. From the everyday seemingly insignificant, such as what shoes to wear, to the almost impossible...my impossible choice was my work situation. I have been with the company for 7 years and felt that my time there coming to an end...I couldn't make the choice myself so eventually they made it and let me go. As a Christian I believe that God has a plan and a purpose for my life, it's not always clear and could take some time before it makes sense....so I believe that this was God's way of closing that door (working in an unhealthy enviornment) and opening up opening up a new one, giving me the one on one time with baby #1 before baby #2 came along. See, I have always valued being a mom, and when it came down to it, I put my family before my career. This isn't the easiest decision as I have strived to be successful at everything I have done. I finished college a year early and jumped head first into my career. I did not want to be a failure at life, I wanted to make tons of money, be admired for how hard I worked and thought of as smart. I had set high expectations for myself and didn't stop after my bachelors. After all, you can't be to educated, right? These things that I thought were so important suddenly were not when we started trying to get pregnant. I realized that there was nothing more important than having a family. And God set me on that journey. It was a struggle as I started questioning everything about my life and my past choices, did I do something that brought on the fertility problems, why can't I control the situation. It became an overwhelming part of my life and a true struggle as we went through the process. At times I felt alone and I questioned everything. I think God was trying to help show me that I can't always do everything on my own and I truly had to give it to him. The process taught me to appreciate our baby more than anything money could buy. He was our true gift in every way. And now I am at a crossroad where choices need to be made, with only 3 months left till baby 2 shows up and zero dollars in our savings account the financial pressure is consuming our family. What is the right, the best, thing to do? I thought I knew the answer, I thought that sharing these last few months with our son was the perfect plan...I'm not giving up my career, just putting it on hold for a much greater purposes. This is how I see it, that to struggle a little will be gain in the long run. That this was God's plan and he has given us the perfect opportunity...but maybe I'm being selfish and overvaluing these times together. Being a stay at home mom isn't always easy. Sometimes you can feel as if your loosing yourself as your identity changes. You are no longer measured by the dollar sign in the bank account but by the hugs and kisses given throughout the day. They are priceless but hard to explain when the questions start coming in on what you do for the family. There are days when the house never gets clean and I'm just to tired to care but I know that our baby has experienced something new, from a ice cube on his tounge to the sound of raindrops on the umbrella. Sometimes I feel as if I'll forget everything I studied so hard to learn and that no one will appreciate or want me. God is teaching me that a persons worth is not defined by there career or bank account. I am being reminded that I am worthy because I am a child of God. Designer clothes and a perfect figure can't compare to the love and bond between a mother and child. My prayer tonight is that God will continue to bless our family and guide us to make the right choices for our family, as husband and wife and father and mother, and not what feels right for ourselves. I don't know what the answer is but I'll be waiting to hear that still small voice.